I can hardly believe that a year ago today, I was holding the best hand of my best friend, Barb, as she passed away. At first, everyone from her family was saying, "stay home and lets see, it's just a matter of time and we will call you." But then my sister called and said, "You know, the hearing is the last thing to go. She can probably hear you." Well that's all I needed and got dressed and drove to Covina to the hospital. When I got there, Barb was actually semi conscious and did recognize me, though she had tubes stuck down her throat and looked at me begging to get them out. And of course all I could do is tell her to try and ignore them and relax. It really gave me a bit of positive hope that seeing my face was helping. But then she quickly slipped back into grogginess but I know she could hear what I was saying. What do you say to someone you see slipping away in front of your eyes. You fight to be stronger and share good memeories but no matter what you do and I am very gratful that I had Barb in my life for as long as I did but alas....

IT IS WHAT IT IS

And I felt so helpless that my voice alone couldn't pull her through. Within a couple of hours she finally passed quietly with her hand in mine. I felt her squeeze it a few times and I KNOW she knew I was there. I am so happy I went to the hospital to be with her as she knows I was there with her while going through that. That means the world to me and I would have been really regretful if I would have just stayed home. So if you ever have the opportunity to be by the side of someone passing, DO IT!!! Especially if they are your true friends. At least she went into the next life knowing I was there with her in this one. We invented Camp Nachos together.

Barb, I miss you constantly, I miss our little camping outings and camping by myself last year was so sad without you. But I know you are with all of our other camping friends and have just set up your tents in a new area that someday I will join you at. I Love you and miss you!!